Saturday, April 21, 2012

It Gets Better, But What About Now?

On April 15th, 2012, 14 year old Kenneth Weishuhn committed suicide.  Two weeks before taking his life, Kenneth took the bold step of telling his friends that he was gay*.  Instead of finding acceptance he found ridicule, hate and threats.  It is great to tell our gay youth that “it gets better”, but what about now?

Being ridiculed, hated and threatened isn’t just a phenomenon of gay youth.  It’s a phenomenon of anyone who is seen as “other” and it needs to stop.  Teachers and administrators need to stop treating bullying as “boys will be boys” bullshit and start treating it like the crime against society that it is.  Platitudes need to be backed up by swift and strong action.

Columbine should have been our nation’s wakeup call about bullying.  Instead of focusing on the bullying Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold received and how it was ignored by school administrators, we focused on the fact that they were both “others”, guns and violent video games.  It was an opportunity lost by those of all political stripes to save lives.

Part of stopping the bullying will require our national political discourse to change.  Our political leaders need to stop using dog-whistle terms to invoke the specter of the “other”.  When kids see adults ridiculing, hating and threatening others, they think nothing is wrong in doing so as well.  This acceptance of bullying puts lives at risk.

We can no longer afford to sit on the sidelines and allow bullying to continue.  In our homes parents need to let their kids know in no uncertain terms that bullying is unacceptable.  In our schools teachers and administrators can longer look the other way when bullying occurs.  They must stamp it out with a vengeance.  In our legislatures and Halls of Congress, lawmakers must remember that fear is not an acceptable means of uniting the nation, especially when it is fear of the “other”.

Gay, straight, black, brown, white, male, female, young, old, rich or poor, we all have the right to live without intimidation and bullying.  Now is the time to eliminate bullying as an acceptable form of discourse.  Now is the time to protect the Kenneth Weishuhns of our nation.  Are you listening Mr. President and Mr. Romney?

*The use of the term “gay” is meant to encapsulate that entire GLBT community and not just gay males.

5 comments:

  1. Amen. Since the very start of the It Gets Better campaign, I have wondered the exact same thing. Since before it, in fact, having survived six years in a bully-friendly environment. My own principal told me that "bullying is a fact of life" and suffering students were ordered not to make a nuisance of themselves by complaining to the staff about it. The school then proudly declared to parents that they had a robust anti-bullying policy and had received no reports of bullying.

    It Gets Better, as a campaign, is very welcome and their heart is in the right place, but I really don't find the message to be all that helpful or hopeful. To somebody feeling isolated and depressed, as many who are bullied tend to feel, it screams of being swept under the rug yet again. Those suffering from the paralysing powerlessness of being bullied are sick of waiting. They should not have to suffer for years, often trapped in a situation they have no other way to escape than to take their life. Every suicide from bullying is a failure by a great many people to Make It Better.

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  2. I applaud the It Gets Better campaign, but its not addressing the problem, it only alludes to a future time for the individual. I have known about Kenneth's suicide since last Sunday. I just couldn't articulate my feelings in the best way and it came down to my frustration that we aren't doing anything about the "now". My biggest fear is that nothing will be done about the "now" until after the election, if even then.

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  3. Kids develop their attitudes from their parents. If they hear their parents disparage LGBT people with slurs, then they think it's OK to do the same, and we know they can be very cruel about it, without thinking of the impact they are having on another life. It's difficult enough being different, but when you are shunned and tormented by your "friends", the pain must be insufferable. Until the hating stops, the dying will continue. Rest in Peace Kenneth.

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  4. Kids develop their attitudes from their parents. If they hear their parents disparage LGBT people with slurs, then they think it's OK to do the same, and we know they can be very cruel about it, without thinking of the impact they are having on another life. It's difficult enough being different, but when you are shunned and tormented by your "friends", the pain must be insufferable. Until the hating stops, the dying will continue. Rest in Peace Kenneth.

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  5. I disagree about the kids developing their attitudes from parents. In grade school the kids learn to insult by saying "That is so gay!" Not, that is lame, that is corny - no, they use the word 'gay."

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